The Misadventures of the Lords of Loot.
The Angel Island Chronicles
Episode 2: The Shard Has Spoken
Recently a significant number of complaints have been voiced about all the unattended macroers. I felt that these complaints were really a thinly veiled cry for help. It was obvious to me that few, if any, people knew what to do about the epidemic of unattended people cluttering up the banks, moongates, and forests of this great shard. I hope that the following tale enlightens and entertains.
Our tale starts with the great Disease Control…
I am pictured grey as the act of euthanizing those afflicted with Disease is still considered criminal.
In the following tales I shall explain how to dispatch a diseased person with a variety of methods.
Method 1: Moongate Disease
One of the more uncommon forms of Disease can be found at the moongates. I am uncertain why, but people tend to practice skills while randomly hopping through moongates.
Anyway, the first poor soul I found afflicted with disease was Lunchbox whom I noticed over the course of my rounds. It seemed like whenever I approached a gate throughout the day I would find him silently standing until the gate system took him elsewhere.
It appears the act of picking locks for to long has made his mind wander. I shall save you!!!!
Drat! Before I could poison him he hopped through a gate!
This is where it gets difficult, one must hop through the gate as quickly as possible in order to catch them.
Ideally you wait for attack until you reach a static gate position and the gates cannot take you anywhere.
Our static gate position turned out to be the Britain moongate. Quickly I made my attempt to poison him, a most effective cure for disease.
Now, you must be careful. If one casts any spell while continuously detecting hidden on themselves bad things happen.
It was all very embarrassing.
At last I did get him. The guards of British didn’t even get called on me!
You are dea…. er…. SAVED!!!
I shall take this as my payment, thank you.
Now, the beauty of the new system is that the diseased are not allowed to report anyone for murder after 10 minutes.
Therefore if they are truly afflicted you have nothing to worry about!
Method 2: Banking Disease
A more common, and far more annoying, disease would be that of the bank form.
I am unsure why anyone would stand in an area so public and advertise the fact that they are unaware of their surroundings. It is just asking for some thief to come by and take their belongings!
The first person I found afflicted was Hugh Jorgan of TOL. He was standing at the Jhelom bank yelling TOL and then hiding every 10 seconds. It was very distracting to hear his constant yelling to myself and the other patrons of the bank.
First one must test to see if they are truly diseased or if they are just yelling a lot.
He is proud of that guild… poor retarded bastard.
Upon further investigation I found Hugh to be holding the heads of several kills. I could only assume that he is a great warrior, possibly to strong for me to kill with one poison.
In this situation I generally feel that a more aggressive tactic should be used. Ideally I would have a greater explosion potion but since none were available I went with what I had.
The general tactic is to first throw the explosion pot and then quickly cast poison. You can see that the potion did very little damage, a greater would have been much better.
Unfortunately one of British’s’ guards saw me… Can you not see he is diseased?!?
Cursed guards!
I shall return!!!
Notice anything weird in this picture?
Apparently the guards have realized that I’m on a mission from God. They have given me the opportunity to cure Hugh!
A BoB ran by and laughed. The BoBs love to laugh, especially at people dressed in Fred Yellow.
Success!!!
Looters, Inc. providing for the community.
You are most welcome Brave Fencer Bob.
How sweet it is.
Method 3: Epidemic Disease
Sometimes the amount of disease can reach epic levels. If not controlled quickly through the use of poison it can spread infecting all those around!
Circled above in green are those whom must be cleansed.
Circled above in Purple are BoBs. They weren't sick.
Generally a situation like this calls for assistance!!! I called in Loci, the official dexxer of Looters, Inc.
When I got word that he was on his way up from the moongate I went ahead and cleansed my old TOL friend Hugh.
I died due to an overzealous guard just as Loci arrived on scene.
His lack of magical abilities forces him to cure the diseased with his newbie Katana of Bacterial Banishment.... and Doom (it's a multi-tasker).
""Thou has suffered thy punishment, scoundrel."
Notice who the guard is looking at?
Next on the list is Stroker. Loci and I decided to do a double whammy and slay him simultaneously.
Two down, one to go.
The next patient is Thurman Merman. We made short work of him.
While getting a few pictures of the carnage a fellow named "Newt" ran up.
He asked, "Whut 1s g0inG 0n?"
or something equally stupid.
Thanks Bob.
Talk about NO LOVE!
You just keep on pontificating Newt. Dazzle me with your brilliance!
Somebody missed the point of the shard....
You tell 'em Bob and other guy!
JINX!!!! You owe me a coke.
Learn him good Bob!
Methinks he got it!
or not...
If ignorance is Bliss then Newt is in Ecstasy.
I am impressed with Bobs calm. Maybe it's the calm before the storm?
Explain it nice and slow Bob.
Does he get it?
This guy REALLY doesn't like players killing players for any reason.
Note: Loci is agreeing with something Bob said non-relevant to Newts comment.
At this point I could no longer hold my tongue and I stooped down to calling him a name. Shame on me....
and Bob!
4 t3h w1n!
Total Loot: Not a hell of a lot but at least we got to laugh at Newt.
Todays Lesson: Killing unattended macroers is fun, easy, potentially profitable, and usually murder count free!
We at Looters, Inc. hope that you now have a better understanding of the fact that on this shard player justice is alive and well.