The Misadventures of the Lords of Loot.
Episode 21: Lessons in Responsibility
Siege Perilous is supposed to be composed of only the most advanced players in all of Ultima Online. In a single night I learned how many exceptions to the rule can be found.
As you can see the night started out with a mental midget. This fellow was red and attacking someone who was trying to bank.
I didn’t mind that he was attacking, what I didn’t like was that he was red.
Many of the reds on Siege kill indiscriminately because we don’t have stat-loss. This has been inconvenient for me so I exact my revenge whenever I can.
Anyway, I took his Nightshade and he couldn’t E-bolt anymore. Gee, could you try one of the other 63 spells in your book?
This boy has issues.
‘Nuff said!
*Hi my name is Bobby and I can’t say anything without the word “gay” in it*
*sighs* I weep for the future.
Lesson 1: Being red has a price.
Later that evening…
Janos, Lasandra, and Finster had been inspecting my new home when we spotted a Dragon named Arn across the way.
A foul beast like this should NEVER be left unattended. It’s a danger to the public safety, local wildlife, and the mailman.
Fortunately Finster devices a rescue plan which involves Janos opening a gate and me attacking it while he and Lasandra supervise.
Methinks I was tricked into this one…
This doth not bode well.
Ah, it appears that Janos has gated us to the Savage Fort near the City of the Dead!
Perhaps they would like to play with Fluffy while we await the return of her master?
Here they come!
They sure do play rough.
Oops!
Lesson 2: Don’t leave your pets alone if you value them.
Thinking the evening was over we all went our separate ways…
I went to Skara to bank and rest when I saw this:
I was flabbergasted.
Two massive piles of gold on the ground!
I missed the one on the left but I managed to get the one on the right… SCORE!!!
I was so busy making sure there was nothing else on the ground that I missed the shots of them saying “Remember his name.”
Did I mention I’m wearing a disguise kit?
I am so helpful!
Methinks someone is blaming me for their mistake.
And note the threat on my life… *shakes head*
Like in the toilet?
Glad we cleared that up.
An explosion… he wouldn’t?
Oh it’s a good day! The loot is just falling at my feet!
Haul was about 100 of each reagent, a pile of pots, and a fine suit of armour.
“nothing on it”
This is 2 minutes later… of course it’s all gone.
You think?
Ya, me too.
Can’t win ‘em all.
Griefer?
Yes, what did I do to poor little old you?
Stole it?
‘Twas on the ground I merely picked it up!
I’ve been threatened, attacked, threatened some more, called a thief, called a griefer and NOW you ask for it back?!?!
Let’s go over this shall we?
1. I didn’t steal the gold. I picked it up off the ground.
2. You tried to kill me and you got looted for it.
3. Crimes? The only crime I see here is your stupidity. How do you remember to breathe?
Ah! Can you spot the problem here?
You guessed it.
More gold? Ok, you’re twisting my arm but I’ll stay!
Hmmm… You think?
Here’s how you do it. Stand in a bank, Say “check *amount*, open your bankbox, retrieve check and hand it to your friend.
They are newbied which means they cannot be stolen or lost if left within your main pack.
They love me.
At this point I hid and started doing taste ID on the many potions I retrieved from the corpse of Guardian.
That would be Guardian. Apparentley his antics have landed him on somebody else’s webspace.
I’d love to see these “fake” pictures. Please email the link to regulus@uopowergamers.com
At this point I busted out with some laughter and they began the reveal game… here’s a sample:
One of many pictures.
Even I got annoyed.
Ooo! Serious face time!
*serious face*
*claps*
I’m on somebodies
People always do this… it happened back in Episode 17.
Not Yoda am I…. Most evil Yoda is not… Good Yoda is…
*cough*
sorry…
At this point we played the reveal game a little more and I shifted through a few disguises to kill time between hiding attempts.
Well, sorta.
Did I mention this was on Siege?
(note: Trammel stones can be found on Siege but Trammel cannot)
The one shard I never thought I’d see that statement on. One more notch on his idiot pole.
Note the dragons in this picture.
Note the guards in this picture.
Any questions?
*notches pole twice*
At this time Guardian became quite grey and fled for his life.
These people attacked him.
He still had several White Wyrms. Ouch!
But they made some nice donations!
It went on pretty much the same until very near the end of the night when they got me in Serpent’s Hold.
I foolishly stepped out of the guard zone close to several unstabled wyrms (hint: more then 2 are in that picture)
By the time I got back they had left.
Total loss for the night:
1 GM made suit of leather armour, 10 of each reagent, and 50 bandages.
Total Gain:
2 GM made suits of leather armour, ~100-200 of each reagent, many pots, many bandages, and almost 60000 gold.
You do the math.
Lessons: Take responsibility for your actions and you won’t look like such an idiot.
Since the writing of this episode we’ve had another encounter with GuardianKnight. It can be seen here.