The Misadventures of the Lords of Loot.
Episode 28: Trash Talking on the High Seas
Publish 16 changed the face of UO. With powerhour breathing its last breaths, the final two weeks were a pirate's paradise! Each night, Captain Kimball and Captain Hancock would scour the seas of Sosaria for those hypnotized by the rhythmic sounds of the sea. They had just begun their pre-publish 16 patrol for the evening, when they arrived upon an empty ship.
Just as they are about to pass it up, Hancock notices an item in the hold: 1 item, 1 stone. The ship was also left unlocked. How odd indeed!
It appears the gods of the sea are on their side tonight!
They detour to
Ahoy! Flesh-n-Bone and JobuX are spotted while checking another ship. Full speed ahead!
Once the subjects have been successfully tracked, Kimball and Hancock arm themselves for boat combat!
In a stroke of bad luck, the poison field misses its target and the blade spirit refuses to attack Flesh-n-Bone. How embarrassing. At this point it becomes quite evident that their prey is indeed stuck in the sea trance, so they polish him off the old fashioned way.
Because of some bizarre witchery (or perhaps and illegal 3rd party program), Flesh-n-Bone keeps the boat moving in a very predictable fashion. Just as they get into position for some dangerous "while-in-motion looting," Flesh-n-Bone awakens and turns the boat to the south. The two ghosts onboard somehow managed to lower the sails. Damn them! After awhile, Kimball and Hancock realize that they grow very close to the guardzone in Moonglow, so they put a call in to other members of Looters Inc.
Mog, the Unspeakable, arrives first on the ship as Kimball recalls away. By the time he arrives to block the ship in, Flesh-n-Bone has already rejoined the land of the living and looted his body clean. Other than the Sacrifice Virtue or a friend recalling in while they were off screen, I cannot begin to imagine how he managed this. Only seconds pass as the shit talking begins.
Ah, the joys of shit talking. While Mog distracts him, Orion is busy recalling into Moonglow to meet them at the docks.
Actually, "tough" wasn't what I was going for. I was thinking more along the lines of: "We caught you unattended, killed you, ruined your powerhour, and almost got the loot." I did not have enough time to climb onto his plank, since it was locked. He leaves the ship and our chase appears to be over.
If you pay close attention to the lower left hand corner, you may notice a very famous etherial horse's ass. Orion runs up, snoops, and snatches the key from Flesh-n-Bone, unnoticed by the local NPCs. After Orion fakes a recall, Flesh-n-bone begins trying to attack Mog (who was perma-gray from another evening of fun). Mog travels to the west, luring Flesh-n-Bone away. Orion takes this opportunity to unlock the boat, board it, and sail away before Flesh-n-Bone can regain his senses.
The ghost of JobuX reappears on the deck, just in time to be properly introduced to Orion.
To ensure no "surprises" would suddenly arrive on the ship, they took every precaution while sailing to another shore to claim the boat.
After scouring the ship, they found that the ghost was nowhere to be found. With the ship securely stashed in their possession, Orion and Mog return home to sort today's loot.
Total Loot: 2 ships, Flesh-n-Bone's pride
Today's Lesson: Don't loot pride. It is bulky, tough to split up, and generally filled with hot air.